all of the girls adore you, and it’s no wonder why. i look at you and can’t believe that you’re mine because you’re … well, beautiful. i wasn’t nervous before, but i came back and saw them and you and now i’m afraid i will worry. i feel so far away from you. which feelings can overcome 50 miles? i felt distanced while sitting right next to you. [did you want to be there by me? or was your mind somewhere else?] i have felt this feeling before, in another lifetime it seems. i am home and yet i am still missing you. i look into your eyes and it’s like you’re not with me anymore.
there’s a conversation i need to have with you and i don’t know when we have time to have it. i’m so scared now! & jealous & hurt & threatened. do you know this? am i just being silly? please reassure me. how badly do you want this? is it worth it? am i worth it? why are we doing this? are you through with me when summer comes?
perhaps the other girls have more of a right to you. sure. they could touch your lips and hold onto your hips and i would never have to know. you could see them every day and not have to wait for precious moments shared across a telephone line, over an internet connection. surely your attention span must be waning.
you’re so wonderful and i don’t want to lose you. but i don’t know how to hold on.
i feel like crying now.
