i wish there was someone who would just tell me what to do. i feel like i am sad more often than i should be. last night mike accused me of holding myself back from other people because of him. am i? i don’t think i can just go hang out with random guys. and i honestly don’t make that many girl acquaintances/friends. is it okay to hang out with other boys? even one-on-one? is this left up to my discretion? i think it would take a lot to piss mike off. what are the limits?
mike just keeps getting busier and busier and it’s clear that i don’t top the priority list. marching band season is drawing to a close, and after that, i’m not sure what i’m going to do with myself. mike basically said, “i can’t come up everytime you want me to just because you want me to.” this is a two-way street here, kid. i feel like i’m the only one who’s trying, the only one who wants to do this. because if he doesn’t want to, i wish he would just say so, and we could get on with our lives.
i wish, just once, that he would say something [anything at all] to reassure me.
“you wanted a solution;
you just wanted to be missed.”
