last night i accidentally left my computer speakers turned up too loud and around 1am, mike’s buddy alert, supposedly a telephone ring, screeched throughout my room and of course woke me up. so i hopped on the computer and talked to him for maybe an hour. at least he is willing to talk; i am happy about that. i just … hurt.
mike told me he might not come to the wisconsin game next saturday afterall and that makes me sad. i’ve been looking forward to seeing him there since my dad bought everyone tickets in early october. it’s just hard to perform week after week knowing i am not doing it for anyone but myself (well, and the crowd, but i just wish there were some familiar faces in the crowd once in awhile). and i know mike would be one of my toughest critics (in addition to my mom, as mike pointed out). it’s like how the linden invitational is always one of linden’s best shows because the crowd loves linden and is there mainly to see them. the energy is high and so everyone performs better. i actually get to march halftime next week. and i am going to GUN it to be in the pregame show, too. my chances are pretty good because only me and one other trumpet alternate haven’t been in the pregame block twice yet. i started practicing the wisconsin fight song at the beginning of THIS week. since “on wisconsin” = “onward linden”, it hasn’t been too difficult. plus chris and joe promised i could be left guide for the series parade block next saturday. my rearbacks will be hot, i promise. the series rocks my world.
i have not eaten much since wednesday. i had a salad when i went to lunch with my dad yesterday. and that’s really it. no food is starting to take its toll because my arms were quaking from holding my trumpet up during warmups this morning and it was really hard to keep my horn parallel for the rest of practice.
my dad is picking me up after the game this afternoon. and i guess mike and i might meet up later to talk. i am scared. kinda scared and kinda hopeful at the same time. he’s a good kid. yesterday dad asked me what i like about mike and the amount of answers i came up with scared me. it’s amazing that i am capable of caring so much for someone else.
i bought two huddle tickets. they are hanging on my bulletin board (next to my new picture additions of mike w/a flugelhorn, kathy adjusting her t-shirt, and the pictures amy took of me at holly’s pool party WAY back when). we’ll see how this goes.
