to boy #5:
sometimes you remind me of me, but with a boy’s face masking a girl’s emotions. we feel the same way so often recently. i know so much about you and yet so little. monday night at 4am you said, “you’re one of the most attractive people i know, kristen.” i get that a lot lately; why? i have big eyes and a crooked nose, jutting hipbones and a flat chest. i am not pretty, i am incapable: unable to hold onto anything that ever meant anything to me. but i want you to know that i will be there for you, through your drunk dials and your many botched attempts with the opposite sex. i wish circumstances had allowed us to be friends sooner, but i understand that sometimes, girls just get in the way.
to boy #6:
i’m sorry. i’m sorry for smiling and batting my eyelashes and perhaps giving you the wrong idea of what i’m all about. most of all, i’m sorry for being sorry. i hope that you never have to hear me apologize again. maybe i never should’ve mentioned that i think you are attractive, because i should’ve known somebody would run their mouth. and it’s weird, because think about how i know you, how i met you. don’t listen so intently when i speak, as no one should hang themselves on my every word (because that would be suicide).
to boy #7:
while drunk, i insisted that i did not love you, but that i was in love with you. maybe there is some truth in this statement. i don’t have many friends who would carry me to the bathroom six times in one night, or who would put my nostril screw back in when i drunkenly almost lose it. lately you have been pointing out, “kristen, i have never seen this side of you!” you say it’s since we have gone away to college, but you and i both know it is since my heart has been iced over. mostly, my bad traits are coming out because suddenly, nothing is going right. and when i don’t get my way … oh, the world had better watch out. the loved ones in my life always earn nicknames, pet names if you will. sean was “beautiful” and mike was often referred to as “gorgeous” or “my baby”. if i had to dub you with one word, i would choose “fidèle”. c’est vrai, tu es mon meilleur ami.
