if you look back through these entries (redpop.diaryland.com), i do not usually write in here when i am happy. there are no entries between january and june of last year. i write in here when i am trying to heal without prying eyes observing my every move. i don’t like looking back at all of my writings and observing cycles; circles that just seem to repeat themselves, even now.
winter break has been incredible. working a lot, making a ton of money, receiving some amazing christmas gifts, journeying to the west side of the state, and a kickass new year’s celebration. everything is surrounded by a shroud of heartbreak, of course, but i still manage to forget myself every once in awhile. no alcohol necessary, just good friends.
i have yet to accomplish the one personal goal i set for myself, promising to complete it over winter break. i am not sure i have the strength left.
“so this is the new year.
and i don’t feel any different.
the clanking of crystal
explosions off in the distance (in the distance).
so this is the new year
and I have no resolutions
for self assigned penance
for problems with easy solutions.”
- death cab for cutie
