i can’t decide which would be worse: missing you and knowing you’re not mine, or having you be mine but missing you ten times more than i do now. the sharp edge of summer is slightly dulled by the fact that i know things would be better if i was in love. i don’t mean to pine, but isn’t it the greatest feeling in the world? and it makes me sadder just knowing i’m not the happiest i could be.
i won’t see you again for many days. i know somehow i will make it, especially since i am incredibly busy between now and then. with no boys and no friends around, it should be easy to four point my two second summer term classes. but don’t worry; i haven’t given up on this chase.
joe wrote something in his livejournal that really struck me. he said, “I am obviously obsolete or flawed in some way that I can’t hold on to what has mattered most to me.” in fact, it reminded me of matt. and even though matt dislikes joe, i am pretty sure that all my friends-who-are-boys are the same at heart.
