This past weekend was pretty intense. I drove Emma and Jeff out to Rockford for the January Phantom Regiment camp. They cut a few more trumpets, but I got asked back yet again. I am currently ranked 29 out of the 30 or 32 that got asked back to February camp. They will ultimately take 24.
I’m not really sure what to do about the whole thing. I feel like I am being led on a little. Am I wasting time and money driving out there month after month? Is all the time spent practicing and working out going to end up being time spent in vain? I don’t want to find myself jobless and corp positionless come March or April. It’s a bit of a shitty situation all around. On one hand, I could stop playing drum corps and face the other music: the real world. I could relocate, get a job, move in with my boyfriend — the possibilities are endless. Yet some part of me wants to put the rest of life on hold to march just one last time. Preferably with one of the best brasslines in DCI. Chip said it best: “The visual staff loves you but you’re at a disadvantage not being a music major.”
I am afraid of making the wrong choice. I want the right answer to just fall in my lap.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
There is no wrong choice – that’s why it’s hard.
The right answer is right in front of you. If you back out now, don’t try, don’t find out if you make it, then you lose a chance to do something you really want to do forever. That’s the kind of thing you regret later. If you try, maybe you make and have a blast. Or maybe you don’t and you’ll say “this sucks” but at least you can also say “I tried for something, I’m not a quitter.”